NOTE: This era of stalking and identity theft mandates that we alter the real names and situation in the following story to protect the innocent while retaining enough story for you to understand its message. For the Absolute Purist - consider this a work of fiction.
Arkansas natives LaDonna Middleton and Sandi Johnson's amorous ambitions collided when both set their sites on marrying the local most eligible bachelor. LaDonna and Sandi were beautiful enough to die for. Both had stable positions with Sandi being a paralegal in a plush law firm and LaDonna was working in a nearby chicken factory.
During the summer months, these two equally shared the benefits of a glorious golden skin color provided free by our wonderful Sun.
Sandi created an edge for herself by reminding Mr. Bachelor how LaDonna sometimes smelled like chicken to which the Bachelor found humor and through the summer favored Sandi.
Fall set in and our life giving Sun made shorter appearances each day. Sandi's golden skin color faded, but LaDonna gained her edge using a Sperti Del Sol tanning lamp that kept LaDonna's skin a golden summer shade.
On Saturday night, two things happened. First came the initial snow of winter and second was the local party attended by all three.
Mr. Bachelor was yet favoring Sandi and was doing so when LaDonna approached. Sandi made her worn out slam about the chicken factory intending to send LaDonna packing once again.
LaDonna not only stood her ground, she placed her golden brown arm across Sandi's pale arm and inquired of Mr. Bachelor, "Now which of these do you think best packed in a Tyson food frozen dinner?" The rest is history.
